rant.

ok, i know it'sbeen a bit since i've posted but i really haven't had anything to talk about...

but now? i'm angry. some people in my life are so closed minded. it bothers me so much when people get violent-mouthed because something's happening that goes against their beliefs, yet the goingon isn't violent/harmful/etc. why can't people let well enough alone? how dare people assume they have the power to provoke me because -godforbid- i wear a pentagram necklace. it is never protruding during school--i know the limits. but why must i be accused of being awful because of this? i'm really jealous of people who are secure in their faith- be that catholicism, judaism, paganism, etc. but i'm not one of those people. and until i am, people shouldreally stop making assumptions.

this probably doesn't make any sense, but that's what happens when i'm angry.

words.

sometimes, i think i want to study language. more than languages- but linguistics. i want to know how words evolved into how they are. i long to know how swears became swears. because, honestly, how is fuck any different than say, door? they both have four letters, some vowels and consonants. yet, i'm uncomfortable saying the former around my parents. how has society done that to me? why do i think of someone who swears a lot as trashy? intelligent people swear. gah. yeah, i think about weird things.

in other news, i can run/walk a mile in 16 minutes when forced. :]

fitting in- the lack of.

you can't say i'm popular, because, well, i don't play that game. but people know me. i'm hyperinvolved-- stu.co rep, drama, just about all but sports, etc. so i have to wonder why i can't see to find a best friend.

i have friends- people i can have okay converstions with, sit with at lunch, and do projects with. i have people i'd like to be better friends with, too- people that occasionally gift me with their company. however, i have yet to find a friend that is willing to force me into being social like kate could or listen to my deepest whinging and crapiest stories like kayla. i've yet to stumble upon someone who can deal with my outspoken-ness and rule that converse are fair game with any outfit. no one has appeared to me as authentic and realistic as i need them to be. i need someone to keep me grounded, social, and in line. maybe i'm just too weird. or maybe i just need to tone myself down.

or lower my expectations.

first post with content.

so, today, i pondered what i could write my first real post about. some possible topics that came to me: the suckage of public transportation, how crap our cafeteria food is and how much i hate math. but i realized that i didn't really want my first post to talk about how much i hate stuff. because really- i'm not a hateful person, and i know that eventually there WILL be a post where i do nothing but whinge about my C- in algebra.

therefore- i'm composing a list of all the happy points in my life. i like lists, they're easy.

1. april vacation is next week!!
2. im eating a cadbury egg- my favorite easter candy. usually, they're gone the day after easter, but mum found them 50% off today! woot woot.
3. i don't have to wear my uniform tomorrow;; yay freshwomen luncheon.
4. the obamas got a dog & its cute! yay for bo. wow, i just realized that bo's name is the same as presidents initials. barack obama.
5. i got 100% on my latin quiz today.
6. i didn't have to make any awkward eye contact/small conversation on the bus today. that alone makes my day that much better.
7. for the most part, my peers like the sweatshirt i designed for them.
8. my ex-teacher who i love is getting a liver transplant like she needs. yay!
9. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANN MARIEEE!!

mmkay. i'm off to bed.

first post.

wow... so first post. i feel like i should have something great or witty or philosophical to say- i don't.

so instead, i'll start off with a few disclaimers:
1. you will find no capital letters on this blog.
2. i can't spell worth anything- sound. it. out.
3. my puncuation is excessive.
4. i occasionally write in a medley of french-latin-english-netspeak, so
if i throw in avec or semper or omgfml, deal.

there will be a ~real~ post soon. like, as soon as i can figure out what i have to say.